Monday, June 17, 2019

The road not taken seriously


As the song says "The road is long, with many a winding turn, that leads us to who knows where, who knows where" (He ain't heavy, he's my brother, The Hollies, 1969) And if it is a road of adventure, it may not matter how winding it may be or where it leads; it may be the road itself is the journey's end and the reason for the travel in the first place...I inject now to add, that this is NOT what the road to healing looks like. Actually, if we 

don't intend to heal and grow, we have no goal or specific purpose and we are blown by the wind and let the winding roads lead us, we may not be on a healing journey at all. Without purpose, we certainly are heading to "who knows where", certainly we do not.

Healing is serious business. It takes a PURPOSE and DEFINITE decision to walk through the dark valleys, allow ourselves to relive the pain and confusion and stop wondering and wandering and take our healing path seriously. 

I like the quote... If you fail to planyou are planning to fail.” (Benjamin Franklin). If we remain in denial, we will fail to begin our journey. It is scary. It hurts (again) to face the memory and pain of abuse. We know we need to "find ourselves, heal from abuse and learn to dream again", we may not know where to start and it is confusing as well as so painful, that it is much easier to deny it, look away, run in the opposite direction, rather than head down THAT road that we know will not be a fun journey. But it will bring us to ourselves. Healing to our hearts and minds. To a place, where we can learn to DREAM again. 

I've been through depression; denial and confusion with overwhelming and debilitating feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. I understand. Anyone who understands that they have truly been a victim of abuse and choose to be a SURVIVOR will understand what we have gone through to get to where we are "Singing a New Song". It takes time. Try not to beat yourself up when you see that your path of abuse is so much longer, in the past than your healing path, which lies ahead of you. Be patient. Be honest and above all things, stop denying that you were abused and it hurt!!! You deserve so much better than to become the person that your abuser constantly accused you of being or the shell of the person that you used to be before your abuser gaslighted you so much that you lost yourself. Find yourself. Heal from abuse. Learn to dream again. It's a process, it's a healing path and it is a road that MUST be taken seriously.

We don't fall into healing, that is how we encounter abuse, but not healing. Think of putting your past behind you like crossing over a bridge...It can be scary when we look down, into the water, the babbling brook or roaring river, but the pain is behind us; not ahead. Look back. You made it through that. You are now making the deliberate choice to heal from abuse. Keep walking, keep looking ahead. Don't look down. Your healing is on the other side of the bridge, where there is safety from abuse and freedom to BE yourself again. I remember wanting my "old life" back and came to realize that it was the "old life" or former self, that allowed myself to be abused and then I didn't want my "old life" back, I wanted a "NEW ME"...We will find what we seek after. Seek the healed, the NEW, the fulfilled and a FULLY LIVED LIFE. It's time to face ourselves, our pain, our reality, and the truth. 

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Until we meet again, remember that YOU MATTER...










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