DENIAL...roadblock to healing from abuse

Healing from ABUSE is like treating a burn on your hand. We have been burnt (directly by the act of abuse) and the FIRST thing that we need to do is STOP the burning. 


As an example, when our hand gets too close to the hot flame of the stove, WE NEED to (instinctively) PULL OUR HAND away from the flame. We all might have experienced the real pain of a burn whether it was caused by fire, flame, coil, conduction or steam. It HURTS! It does not take much for us to FEEL it and suffer the aftermath of a burn.However, sometimes in abusive situations we may not recognize the pain to be as great and as damaging as it truly is. 


We may have removed our hand from the source of pain (abuse) but we may not realize the damage that we had incurred; damage that needs our attention and healing.


At the moment our hand tells our brain that we are in pain, we need to apply first aid. In analogy of the burnt hand, I apply COLD running water for several minutes to "stop the cooking". ALL of this is in response to OUR PAIN leading to the realization that we are HURT and need to take care of ourselves QUICKLY. So in many ways, PAIN is a good indicator and one that should not be denied, overlooked or diminished in its effect upon our lives. There is ALWAYS a good reason why we feel pain, we need to HEED the warnings of pain rather than run from them.

Continual burning (ABUSE) has already stopped but we have the power to take care of ourselves and then stop the effects of abuse in our lives...take control over how we feel and what has happened to us. Assess our damage and apply first aid. (Dealing with ourselves; not in reconciliation to abuser but in "good self care" apply the needed "medicine") We deserve to be treated kindly and "to be heard". We feel pain in response to another human being's behavior toward us. Though they may have stopped their abuse or we have removed ourselves from it; the aftermath of abuse may still be active and painful in our lives.

• If we do not pull our hand away or get away from the source of the abuse in our lives, then we are still being abused, damaged and hurt.
• If we do not apply first aid, the PAIN of the damage will hurt us badly for many days (it has happened to me) This is what happens when we have been abused, not recognized it as abuse and remained in it and continue to be abused.
• If neither of these seem likely to occur, we are probably in denial...meaning that we have yet to SEE and FEEL the abuse for what it truly is...abuse.

Denial is the insidious lie that begins as a defense mechanism to help us cope that grows up into a our own personal walled prison which can only be escaped by not allowing it in our lives.

Without denial, abuse cannot thrive.

You are worth it and being a woman (or man) abused by others in various ways, 

only YOU can bring that wall of denial down 

and set yourself free from abuse.

Don't let DENIAL stop you from healing from abuse.