Are you happy?

Change. 

It is a hard thing to face. 

It can come to us simply disguised as a very simple question like 

"Are you happy?". 

If we are very honest with ourselves, 

and truly, we truly need to be totally honest with ourselves,

we will face the fears of knowing the truth, we will survive it,

and then we will have the single most powerful weapon in the universe, 

Truth. The most needed element of happiness.

Hot potato!

I just couldn't help myself...LOL. When I saw this picture of a silhouette of a person who appears to be "holding the son" my memories went back to my childhood and the game "Hot Potato". Ok, if you remember that also, we both know HOW OLD we are! Like the game, this picture reminds me of "what we get our hands on" and we "get burnt"
at times while playing the game. This is just an illusion; of course we cannot hold the sun in our hands but we present the illusion of holding it without the real consequences. What are YOU holding onto?

Is that your FINAL answer?

Haven't we all asked the question "What is the purpose of life?" We ask "Is this ALL my life is about, isn't there ANY more to it than THIS?", "WHO should I trust?", "WHAT can I do?", "WHEN will it be "my turn" for happiness?", "WHERE do I look for peace in my life?" or  even "WHY does he treat me so badly; will he ever change and respect me as I deserve"?

HOW can I cope with all of this?" 

The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. 

Uncertainty is the very condition 

to impel man to unfold his powers.
Erich Fromm

We ALL seem to want a final answer and get "resolve" on the sometimes unresolvable issues in our lives. I think a great part of stress for me is NOT having the "final answer" but finding that I had to make decisions that affected my life POSITIVELY without all the information "that I would have liked to have had". I say it that way because, sometimes, a NON-answer CAN BE answer enough for us. If we let it be, that is. I try to ask myself and challenge you to ask yourself  

"What do I really want in (or out of) life?" 

Take a moment to listen and be inspired by this wonderful song and video:

"Everything" by Barbra Streisand 

(courtesy of www.LoveSpeakes.com)

 
If you are like me, you want happiness, health, freedom to "be who you really are" and love on a daily basis. That answer does not place any need or desire on "knowing the answer for every question" that I have in life. Isn't that funny? NOT having the answer may not affect the quality and enjoyment of my life...That is a great realization. It is not so much the end result (having the answer) that matters but HOW we learn to cope with living with uncertainty that is out of our control and realm of influence. Uncertainty can thwart our plans, slow us down or discourage us but sometimes not "having the answer" could be answer enough for us if we only ask ourselves "what do I really want?" .

If I run across a magic Genie's lamp on a beach; I know that one of my "three wishes" would NOT be to "know the answer to every question" but I would make sure that ONE wish would be that I have all that I need to live life to the fullest and "let the uncertainties be what they will".

"Uncertainty  is the only certainty there is, 

and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security." 

John Allen Paulos

If this feel that this entry was inspiring or gave you a glimmer of hope that you had not felt before; please comment or check a REACTIONS box below. Thanks.

Learning to live after abuse

It's been a LONG time since my last post; nearly a year. SO much has changed in my life. I have begun to learn to live again. I separated from my abusive husband in Nov. 2009, by June 2010 I was nearly convinced that his abusive ways were unchangeable and his behavior toward me, imminent and continuing. It was in August 2010; the 24th day, that I realized and "let go" of the denial of another lost marriage; the second one. The rest of 2010 was spent in personal growth and compassion toward myself and my losses. I let go.

In January 2011, I experienced an epiphany that my life is "not what it ought to have been". There was a death at my workplace of many years; a woman tragically fell and died a few days later whom I knew since my start there in 1987, I made a drastic decision. I chose to LIVE. I realized that there was a very special man. One whom I have loved since 1982 that I cried hot tears over not having seen for over 25 years while I sat at my cubicle that day.

Why do such tragedies "have to happen" to "wake us up" to what is real and important? I am singing a NEW song. I have "broken the mold" of my behavior and not only left but divorcing the abusive husband. I will soon be marrying the first love of my life; who is not only the first but the ONE and ONLY as we have reunited. There is MUCH more to this story. There is HOPE after abuse. Life CAN be good and we only need to learn how to live without the abuse in order to embrace ALL that Life has for us.