Using my faith to abuse me

I lived with a "christian abuser"...
I might have well just said I lived with a "Christ-abuser" or "Christianity abuser" because he did not only abuse me but he totally used and abused the seemingly "good things of religion" in about any way he could. It has really made me take a closer look at WHY we have the faith that we do.

After ten years of living with emotional, spiritual and verbal abuse, I started to look at his motivation for his need to control and disrespect me. He called it "being my head" or how I should "submit" to him as my "head". I could not begin to imagine that MY assumption of his "faith" actually perpetuated the abuse that I did not want to acknowledge or believe existed. HOW could a person who was a Christian BE abusive? I don't believe that it is possible.

  

I don't know if God exists, 

but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.

~Jules Renard

 

I love the film "A Leap of Faith" with Steve Martin; an oldie but goodie. Love the music, the writing of the screenplay, acting, etc but what I really appreciate its CLEAR uncovering of covert spiritual abuse. Steve Martin portrays a CON MAN who is playing himself off as being an "evangelist". The movie: Leap of Faith with Steve Martin NOW, many christians did NOT go see the movie and actually protested it playing because of his portrayal of the "evangelist" was fashioned after seeing and studying MANY current day "christian televangists" and he "mimicked" their behavior. This was abhorrent to many Christians everywhrere who could not understand that a CON MAN could "appear to be a christian" and that NOT all who say that they are Christian; are! Steve Martin was quoted as nearly saying " It shows a CON MAN playing an evangelist. The FAKE christians won't like it but the "real" ones will appreciate it".

My christian abuser; chose to abuse me in "Jesus' Name" and he was also a
misogynist or woman hater. This was ONE sign to me that he "might not really be a christian" OR he was an ABUSER who was PORTRAYING a christian; that made much more sense to me. One day he very boldly and unashamedly told me that I was "inferior" to him; "God" had told him so. With my eye brows raised I asked myself " WHICH god is he referring to? Certainly, the God that I knew did not "think less of me for being a woman" NOR could he certainly consider someone who was an ABUSER who JUST HAPPENED TO BE A MAN to be SUPERIOR to me??? I don't think so.

My "faith" WAS USED AGAINST ME TO ABUSE ME and I realize now that I "had left my self" in order to accept the dogma and teachings that kept me in bondage to abuse for many years. NO more.