The end of 2011 is quickly approaching. Isn't it strange, when we stop to look at it,we may be actually looking forward to the end only to start a new beginning? As some have said, we could "wish our lives away" if we are not careful. Do we REALLY have to wait for our future to arrive before we can believe in our dreams? I know through personal experience that we do NOT have to "just hope" anymore.
"The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"
Eleanor Roosevelt
This time of year can be devastating to many who have endured abuse. They are trying to deal with themselves; the broken dreams, the grief of loss and in many instances compiled with death of family members as well. It is not a time that many people "look forward" to. We TRY to get into the "Christmas spirit" and feel hypocritical as we see joy on the faces of children, even our own, as they open their gifts; unable to join in the festivities while we are cry on the inside.
Irving Berlin wrote a beautiful son many years ago; a Jew by birth, he was asked to write a Christmas song and he did. And because of that song, might we also "dream of a white Christmas?". We have expectations of good times surrounding the holidays; Christmas, Chanukkah and New Year but sometimes we are sorely disappointed in ourselves for not being able to fully embrace the joy of the season due to emotional pain or angst from abuse or loss.
My heart and purpose for writing about my pain and loss and damage from abuse is so that one other person, man or woman, will see themselves and come out of the denial that "it will someday get better". When we are living with an abuser, it only gets better when we are in the honeymoon stage, not showing our separateness and individuality and seemingly "being controlled" by our abuser. I believe that it is THIS STAGE of my healing journey that I had to take A LONG HARD LOOK at my life and search DEEP within my heart to FIND my dreams again, even AMIDST the depression and despair that I felt daily.
For many years, I lived a life that I felt that "I should" live. I denied MY VERY SELF in order to TRY to make a marriage work and avoid a shameful divorce. The greater shame was to "be killed a little at a time" with the mind bending verbal and emotional abuse that very few churches or Christians would accept as behavior from another "christian". I LITERALLY DIED TO MY SELF (common religious doctrine and practice) to "serve" my husband who was in his ignorance at best and with evil hearted control at worst, "loving me" as he "thought he should". Can I say that being married to anyone of any religious bend DOES NOT make you immune to abuse? This was what I finally realized as the insidious covert abuse of a "religious" controller.
The Future BELONGS to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. The future is ours. It does not belong to anyone else. Like saying a wish upon a shooting star, could we all believe, just for a moment, that our dream COULD come true? I wish that for you in the coming New Year. I send you PEACE and LOVE.
Irving Berlin wrote a beautiful son many years ago; a Jew by birth, he was asked to write a Christmas song and he did. And because of that song, might we also "dream of a white Christmas?". We have expectations of good times surrounding the holidays; Christmas, Chanukkah and New Year but sometimes we are sorely disappointed in ourselves for not being able to fully embrace the joy of the season due to emotional pain or angst from abuse or loss.
My heart and purpose for writing about my pain and loss and damage from abuse is so that one other person, man or woman, will see themselves and come out of the denial that "it will someday get better". When we are living with an abuser, it only gets better when we are in the honeymoon stage, not showing our separateness and individuality and seemingly "being controlled" by our abuser. I believe that it is THIS STAGE of my healing journey that I had to take A LONG HARD LOOK at my life and search DEEP within my heart to FIND my dreams again, even AMIDST the depression and despair that I felt daily.
For many years, I lived a life that I felt that "I should" live. I denied MY VERY SELF in order to TRY to make a marriage work and avoid a shameful divorce. The greater shame was to "be killed a little at a time" with the mind bending verbal and emotional abuse that very few churches or Christians would accept as behavior from another "christian". I LITERALLY DIED TO MY SELF (common religious doctrine and practice) to "serve" my husband who was in his ignorance at best and with evil hearted control at worst, "loving me" as he "thought he should". Can I say that being married to anyone of any religious bend DOES NOT make you immune to abuse? This was what I finally realized as the insidious covert abuse of a "religious" controller.
The Future BELONGS to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. The future is ours. It does not belong to anyone else. Like saying a wish upon a shooting star, could we all believe, just for a moment, that our dream COULD come true? I wish that for you in the coming New Year. I send you PEACE and LOVE.
What dream are you afraid to dream? That is the dream that is deep within your heart and needs to be let out...peace.
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