Depths of Sorrow, Heights of Joy

When you are joyous, 

look deep into your heart

and you shall find 

it is only that which has given you sorrow 

that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful, 

look again in your heart

and you shall see that in truth 

you are weeping for that 

which has been your delight.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Everything begins and ends with the heart. Without it, there is no love. With it, there is pain as well as joy. The heights of its joy can only be exceeded by the depth of its sorrow. The heart is what life is about.I have found Kahlil Gibran's poem to be so very true, painfully true. Through what and whom I have received the greatest heights of joy, I have certainly also felt the deepest sorrow and grief that I could not even have imagined. 

The cost of love. Yet, I cannot see our lives being truly wonderful without the heart. The most fragile and yet strongest "member" of our being. Only when we give our hearts the freedom to feel the pain, the sorrow, the pleasure and the joy will we be "Singing a New Song". The journey of "finding myself, healing from abuse and learning to dream again" required that each and every turn would open another part of my heart; part that had been closed by fear and darkened by pain.

Healing is worth it...and so are you!

I am worth it!!!

I have finally realized that I have not taken as good care of my body as I SHOULD have been. I know that it is certainly NOT going to last forever but I CAN help my body function better, feel better and even LOOK better through good nutrition and healthy activity.

I started a weekly workout at a local church. They called it toning but I was working up a good sweat and found that stretching my unused muscles was NOT easy, fun or very pleasant. I started aching in my muscles less than 3 hours afterward and realized that the aches meant that I had NOT worked these muscles in a LONG time.



Taking care of ourselves may mean that "some pain" will be involved. And like healing from abuse, there is pain that is very likely to rise to the surface though we can take consolation that it is more like a "growing pain" than an opened wound. We don't have to be afraid of the pain; it only aches us for a short while but the realization of the CAUSE of the pain and the remedy to encourage our healing that comes from acknowledging our pain is SO valuable...we should learn to "embrace the pain" and just see it as I am seeing my muscle aches today...it is part of my body's way of adjusting to the increase in activity and use...and I AM WORTH IT!!!

DENIAL...roadblock to healing from abuse

Healing from ABUSE is like treating a burn on your hand. We have been burnt (directly by the act of abuse) and the FIRST thing that we need to do is STOP the burning. 


As an example, when our hand gets too close to the hot flame of the stove, WE NEED to (instinctively) PULL OUR HAND away from the flame. We all might have experienced the real pain of a burn whether it was caused by fire, flame, coil, conduction or steam. It HURTS! It does not take much for us to FEEL it and suffer the aftermath of a burn.However, sometimes in abusive situations we may not recognize the pain to be as great and as damaging as it truly is. 

Authenticity

original quote by Newsong4him.blogspot.com

Authenticity truly is a "higher level" aspiration in our lives and even more so after our self-esteem has been damaged by abuse. I have found that DECLARING who I am and even stating that "and I don't care who likes it" has been like a machete in a jungle bringing clarity to my path and safety along my way. I have the right to respect myself. To love myself and to BE REAL. I have the right as a human to "be who I am" with no apologies. As the above quote says: I may reflect you but I am STILL ME...

 This is VERBAL ABUSE

 author unknown, shared anonymously

once more your voice descending

I’m crashing to the floor

the honeymoon is ending

like so many times before


broken pieces of my heart

have fallen on the ground

from years of bad dreams coming true

of comfort never found

that girl I was at twenty

who trusted only you

bit by bit has slipped away

as the pile of pieces grew

you finally have robbed me

of the me I thought was there

I’m remade in your image

your little teddy bear

sorrow has dissolved my soul

tears have drowned my mind

pain has killed my spirit

from being kicked so many times

although you are beside me

screaming how I am wrong

your grimaces I cannot see

your rage is all but gone

I am no more, I do not fear

you shouting from above

as you drive another nail into

the coffin of my love

original author: 

Thanks for letting me share.

-c.


This poem uses imagery from books on verbal abuse written by Patricia Evans. 

SPEAK OUT!!!

A Valentine for Hurting Hearts

For all the precious, lonely and hurting hearts on

Valentine's Day:

Valentine's Day may be a very special day for lovers but it seems to totally disregard the single, lonely hurting heart. Too many years I dreaded the upcoming "Lover's Holiday".  I would mournfully walk throughout the mall and see all the beautiful festive red and white displays declaring the "love the of the ages" and all the wares for sale to give to that "special someone". 

 

Every Valentine's Day, my heart was made sick to think that I had "loved and lost" before and was afraid that I might NEVER know that again. 

I was reminded of other dear hearted women who had been hurt and abused and face each Valentine's Day in the same way. 

I felt that this holiday was a very wicked reminder of the cruelty of abuse...again and again each year. 

I am so sorry for your pain. 

And most of all,  I'm sorry to myself  

for treating me worse than I would anyone else.