Running away...

Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica...photographer unknown. 

Sometimes we think that if we could 

"JUST GET AWAY" 

for a while 

that things would be either so much better when we returned than when we left 

OR 

we would have been refreshed enough to face whatever we wanted to run away from...

Simple Joys 

(from the Musical "Pippin")

Stephen Schwartz

Well, I'll sing you a story of a sorrowful lad

Had everything he wanted, didn't want what he had

He had wealth and pelf and fame and name and all of that noise

But he didn't have none of those simple joys. 

His life seemed purposeless and flat

Aren't you glad you don't feel like that?

So he ran from all the deeds he'd done,

he ran from things he'd just begun

He ran from himself, which was mighty far to run

Out into the country where he'd played as a boy

'Cause he knew he had to find him some simple joy

He wanted someplace warm and green

We all could use a change of scene

Like us all, the young man in this story thought that he could RUN AWAY from his problems, but hopefully, he learned, as we have, that we cannot run away from ourselves. We try! But we will never succeed in "leaving ourselves behind". We will take ourselves with us everywhere we go...so the moral of this story is: "Find yourself, heal from abuse and learn to dream again"...Learn to LIKE yourself, you will be spending the most time of your life with YOU. 

Are we there yet???

I love road trips. I enjoy the company of loved ones, watching for new and interesting places and even stopping at the rest areas and chatting with a person I have never met and will probably never meet again in my life. I love to travel. 

Our healing journey is not unlike traveling. We choose where we start (where we are right now), our path (our healing journey) and our destination (Singing a New Song!) Thank you for traveling along with me. Our journey is bound to be a wonderful time together. 


Emotionally, mentally and even spiritually, we can, together examine our personal life situations and our experiences to get to the realness of it all. We travel the same road; an healing path where we are learning to "find ourselves, heal from abuse and learn to dream again"...It is a wonderful journey and I am so glad that you have joined me. Traveling is always better with a friend. 

Along our journey we can discuss many areas of our lives. We can learn all about how one can have the deep, inner journey of "FINDING ME" where we can look deeply into issues of self-esteem, self-image, personal goals, etc. We can spend weeks following "rabbit trails" leading to wonderful knowledge of who we are and who we are becoming. It is a wonderful journey on discovering that we are free to "be ME". 

We can spend time together on the somewhat painful but profitable road of "HEALING FROM ABUSE" and face our fears, train our triggers, finish flashbacks, develop detachment, and consult about counseling. This seemed to be the longest part of my healing journey, taking years. There are some part that must be taken alone but having someone with you who understands how you feel and what you are going through is a blessing! 

The last but not least step in our "Singing a New Song" healing journey is "LEARNING TO DREAM AGAIN" where we can discuss HOW to "get past our past" and start living IN THE PRESENT...putting our dreams into plans and so we can "SING A NEW SONG"... 



Our healing (real living) is broken down into these three parts to help us "see where we are"...and like children traveling on road trips, we may often ask "Are we there yet???". We would like to feel and be whole, be healed and be happy but it is a process that we must choose to experience and live out in our lives. We cannot expect anyone to do it for us. It is our life. It is our healing. It is our happiness.

So, WHERE are YOU in the process??? 

I know that I am "learning to dream again" and it feels great. I want YOU to be there with me. I spent many years, uncovering and discovering my true self. I had to push past all the opinions of others, for "good" or "bad" as they saw me. I had to discover who I was alone.

After I started "finding me", I realized that I had been abused as child and young adult in many ways. The scars of my emotional and mental trauma had stunted my inner journey and it was then that I began to be "brutally honest" with myself about what I felt about what I had been through at the hands (and mouths) of others. It was then that I realized that I had been physically, emotionally and mentally abused by my father and how it had affected my choice in spouses.

I sought counseling for many other small crises in my life but each time, I realized that I had to come back to the source of my trauma, my abusive past and that until I was fully on my healing journey to heal from the abuse, I could not fully live my life.

After several years of leaving an abusive marriage, I had allowed myself to dream a dream that I had dreamt for many years. After going through the healing journey of "finding me and healing from abuse", I was then ready to "learn to dream again"...and that is exactly what I did...but that is another story for another blog.

Please join us at Singing a New Song on Facebook. It is YOUR community where you can feel free to share a comment on ways that you are finding more for yourself, learning to "speak out" against abuse and set healthy relationship boundaries and affirm yourself and  share the precious dream that you have not shared with others. It is a place of healing and hope for the hurting...that includes you and me. 

Think about this...the more we talk about these things, the more REAL they become. They can turn from dreams into plans and plans into reality.

YOU are worth it!!!

Making room for your dreams

~Learning to dream again ~ 

It is a wonderful part of our healing journey and the last but not least part of our "finding ourselves, healing from abuse and learning to dream again" that we focus upon here at Singing a New Song (blog and Facebook).

It is not the last step but more of a goal. Once we can "learn to dream again" we will have "found ourselves and healed from abuse".

How DO we make room for our dreams??? 

Let's walk through the process of "learning to dream again" as if we are redecorating a room in our home or perhaps, better yet, a room in our parent's home that has collected many items that are "stored" among the furniture and living space. We have already dreamed of how we would like that room to look, until we walk into it and are overwhelmed by the emotions and memories found there. Our memories are represented by grandma's antique chair, the framed picture of dad in military attire or even a picture of ourselves in our mother's arms. There was so much living that happened here...how could we ever think of cleaning it out? We need to remind ourselves of our dream and how much we really want to see that room transformed.

Sometimes we need to see past all the stuff that has taken up the space where our dreams will come into existence. We have to dare to imagine that the room can look differently and then we have to find the desire to want it to look differently then we can begin to make decisions for many of the things that are in the way. This is deep emotional work. Many people have great emotional attachment to things and to give away, sell, or donate any possession can be traumatic and this is especially true for survivors of abuse who may have strong memories attached to these things. It would help us to start with a blank palette, as a painter does, in creating a place in our lives for our dream.

When we realize that we are willing and ready to let go of the past, we can patiently and carefully move aside all the stuff that are in our dream's way. This can be an arduous task but making it a labor of love to open up this room for your dream will make it all worthwhile. Try to see it as if you are decorating a baby's room for that expected little bundle of joy that will be arriving. We need to expect our dreams...welcome them and this is the way of giving them entrance into our lives by making room for them. As we toil, we may relive every moment, every tear and every joy that we shared there. We may even need to say "goodbye" to some of the things that we owned but we can take solace that finding them another home, another space, maybe even storing them while we decide where they will best belong.

We may need to prepare that space by doing some deep cleaning...soul searching. self-acceptance and even time of solitude throughout the process. Allowing ourselves to converse with our hearts and accept our dreams as reality is deep dream foundation work. We may need to do some serious deep cleaning to make room for our dreams. Like laying new carpet, we need to build our dreams upon a solid foundation. They deserve to have a fresh start.

Like welcoming a friend into your home for dinner, we are excited, prepared and happy to see them and looking forward to our time together. And when your dream is ready to "move it", we will have peace knowing that we have found other safe homes for our memories and our dream will move right in.

While your dreams are waiting for a place in our lives, let's open the windows and allow the sunshine to welcome them into their new home. Start seeing the room, "as it will be" once your dream moves in. Imagine the exhilarating freshness of the breeze through the open windows, the mirror on the wall reflecting the light upon a floral centerpiece holding all of your favorite blossoms, the crackling fire in the hearth, the softness of the carpet beneath your feet and the sound of a "new song" being played and you find yourself humming along.

Learning to dream again, isn't about fantasizing or imagining a life that is impossible. It is really about being mindful and aware of what your heart already feels, what it already knows, what it already sees. All you have to do is be open to hearing what your heart is saying to you. When you can "set aside all the stuff" that is taking your dream's space in your life, and imagine your dream THERE and that is when you will be learning to dream again...and I am sure that your dreams WILL come true!!!

Are you aggravated???

This life can be SO irritating, grating and totally frustrating to the point that we are constantly aggravated and "rubbed the wrong way". It hurts and we learn to adapt.
We learn to survive.

Maybe we don't always slow down to realize that maybe the difficulties, the hard places, the unpleasant conversations and unfair challenges will create something good in our life. We can only hope that something good will come out of all of our pain.
We want it to count for something.



While we are healing from abuse, it doesn't feel good. I remember many days while separated from an abusive husband, pending divorce that I second guessed myself. I back peddled in mind, thinking that I could have done more to make things right. I felt sorry for myself. I felt rejected and alone and angry. All those feelings, that I had always had with me, had no other way to manifest into feelings that I could really use to grow and heal through all of this. I remember crying out "it's not fair", "why should I be the one who has to give up so much?". But I realized that the only things that I had truly lost were just things. They could be replaced. And in all of my loss, I found myself. I found the person, when told that I couldn't do it would reply "just watch me". I found my strength, my power and my true self. I was irritated beyond what I thought I could handle to the point of it managing to "smooth out my rough edges". I became more "refined" in the process. I became a "pearl" that was created out of the rough, hard, unfair and unloving treatment of others. Who knew??? I didn't even know that I could "make it out the other side", let alone, come out in better shape, more beauty and more strength than when I first started.

The healing journey is hard and can be painful but is truly worth it. And no matter what you have to "go through", just go through it and don't look back.

But always look inward. Inside, you are becoming more beautiful every day. Let the beauty being created within, come out. Let your strength shine with a luster that the world cannot take away from you.

You are a pearl...don't ever forget that!