You are not alone

Why does the "night" or dark times in our lives seem to be SO long? The dark has a way of making time go more slowly, it is harder to see what is going on but most importantly to abuse survivors, is that it is in the dark when we feel most alone. Evil deeds are done at night, it is a time when things are hidden and truth may not be so easily found but it is a time that we must "go through" to reach a more enlightened part of our lives. Times of solitude, going through the dark and alone times, are opportunities for healing and growing as individuals. 

I remember so many times, during the night, when I felt the weight of the pain of abuse. My mind reeled at the "crazymaking" statements, expectations and demands made upon me, just a normal, wonderful woman. Those nights seemed so long without resolve. It felt as if the dawn would never get here. It was then that I realized that being alone was not the worst thing that I had endured. I enjoyed by own company and could entertain myself and think for hours about things that I loved and distract myself from horrifying verbal and mental abuse. At times like this, our minds and our interests can help preserve us and keep us sane and focused on more healthy things. 

I have spent many early mornings patiently waiting for the sun to rise. In those quiet moments, all "was right with the world". Time spent in solitude is not the same as loneliness. When we realize what wonderful people we are, it is a joy to spend time alone with our thoughts. The dark is no longer our enemy or the one that only hides the light. No, it becomes a time of anticipation, knowing that the dawn is coming and the sun will rise again, we can enjoy it and "walk through it". Just like in times of darkness in our lives, abuse and confusion seems to squelch the light and love that we all need and deserve...but we need to believe and hope that the sun will rise tomorrow...it is a new day. We have made it through the night, we can be thankful and look forward to another day. 

Going though abuse and then the beginning the healing journey of "finding ourselves, healing from abuse and learning to dream again" is like going through the night and looking forward to a new day. No matter how dark the night seems, it will pass...the sun will rise again. You CAN sing a new song!!! You are worth it!!!