Keeping Focused on Healing

Amidst the turmoil, frustration and confusion of abuse, I have found that many people, women predominately, tend to disregard their own personal cues of "need" and tend to "numb out" and lose focus on taking good personal care and embarking on the healing journey.
We struggle day after day just to get out of bed and try to find some meaning for going through this barrage of attacks on our psyche and self-image once again. We see other's needs but have been deceived into believing that taking care of ourselves makes us "selfish" and to prove that we are not; we disregard our own intuition, we doubt ourselves and our perceptions and take on  abuse as our "new truth"...we live in this for sometimes many years before we realize that "THIS IS NOT MY LIFE".

Sometimes, before we realize that we need to take good care of ourselves, we must first IDENTIFY behavior that is disrespectful, demeaning, manipulative, controlling, etc as ABUSE. Many websites, books, articles online, television are discussing the effects of domestic abuse (not only physical but verbal, emotional, mental, financial and spiritual) on women and raising awareness of the NEED for women to be aware of how this undermines their sense of self and purpose are available. (see healing from abuse resource page on this blog)

ACCEPT that you did not cause it, you cannot change it and you cannot control it. When we try to LET GO of the need to control the person who has abused us.  One author coined this as "radical acceptance", the full acceptance of a person and their behavior "as it is" and without our need to change it for either ourselves or them. Take responsibility for our own behavior and decide WHAT WE REALLY WANT in life. We will not be able to change our abuser to meet our needs, in doing this, we are falling into the trap that they have unconsciously left for us. We can then even become manipulative, unloving and demanding, just like an abuser.

Are YOU focused on YOUR healing??? YOU MATTER. Acknowledge abusive behaviors in your life that have damaged your sense of SELF. Take time to "take good care of yourself" today.

You are worth it!!!