What is REAL?

Capodiomonte rose

This is a Capodimonte rose. I had one just like this for many years. It given to me by my mother who loved roses all her life. She even married a man and had three children who's last name was Rose. It's understandable.

I have always been fascinated in art and sculpture. The artist's goal is to create a material representation of a natural and temporal thing like a flower or a man. Most of the time they reproduce with fairly close accuracy. But they cannot recreate the natural beauty that they see; only make a copy of it; albeit in their own 

artistic and usually very insightful ways.

This rose, in all of its created beauty reminds me of how ATTACHMENT can imitate LOVE and why it is hard for us to "break free" from abuse. Thinking that WE are loving them, why is the relationship dying or why has it become abusive. Why can't we leave???

Attachment is: 

an act of attaching or the state of being attached 

or a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause,ideal, or the like; devotion; regard.

Love is: 

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

I had been wondering why it was so hard to leave a person, lover, spouse, who was abusive when we still thought that we loved them but was hurt daily by their abuse. It struck me like a lighting bolt one day that it must be the ATTACHMENT not the LOVE that keeps us in unhealthy relationships. Loving another does not heal us or them if they are abusive toward us and an are unwilling to face their behavior and take responsibility for their own actions.

It has been several years since separating (2009) and divorcing (2011) from my exhusband who was controlling and abusive to realizing that I had loved another man all my life only to find that I was attached to him but since I am no longer attached to him (2013) I realize that LOVE was not their either...not true love that is.

Is there someone whom you FEEL an ATTACHMENT but it does not seem to be an healthy relationship? Are you TRYING to make love out of an attachment?

Have you left someone you loved; may still think that you love but would not have a profound, tender affection toward you and you felt STUCK to them, no matter what?

Perhaps you allowed yourself to become attached but love was not in the picture. Something for you to ponder today as you "find yourself, heal from abuse and learn to dream again".

You really ARE worth it...

No matter what anyone says...