FOCUS on LIFE... Finding me, healing from abuse and daring to dream again

As my Personal Note of Welcome to my blog says:

I realize that my writing is not for everyone; 

it is for the HURT and the HOPEFUL; 

for those who want to "find themselves" 

and learn to DREAM AGAIN! 

First of a series of three main purposes for this blog 

Part One:
FINDING ME 

I never had a moment when I said to myself, I have "lost me" but during extreme mind-altering abuse, I felt the deep and oppressive FEAR that I WAS losing myself. Prior to that abuse, as a young teen, I was seeking my identity but this journey goes FAR beyond self-discovery. This is more like self-reclamation. In the midst of having a once significant person, spouse in this case, define and tell me who I am and "how I should be" and verbally undermine my sense of confidence in my own abilities with constant and insidious criticism, I realized that I was "losing sense of my self". My person was under perpetual attack. It felt like I was the target and the mission was to DESTROY who I was so that I would no longer be a threat to his delusional reality.