Don't fool yourself

Youtube link to Fooling yourself by Styx

 

Fooling Yourself 

       by Styx

 

Relax.. Take it easy...

You see the world through your cynical eyes
You're a troubled young man I can tell
You've got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand's wet with sweat
And your head needs a rest


And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it.

Why must you be such an angry young man
When your future looks quite bright to me?
And how can there be such a sinister plan
That could hide such a lamb
Such a caring young man

And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're killing yourself if you don't believe it

Get up, (get up!) get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on (come on!) let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it.
Ohhh....."

And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're killing yourself if you don't believe it

Are you being abused?

Based on the "Power and Control Wheel"

Developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project

202 East Superior Street Duluth

Minnesota 55802 USA

If we will allow ourselves to see abuse for what it is and learn to recognize the different forms of abuse, we CAN free ourselves from abuse and begin healing from its damage. If you are feeling controlled by a loved one or feel that they have "power over" you in certain areas, take a moment to identify their behaviors using the above wheel and determine how they may be abusive and harmful to you.

If you don't have anyone you feel that you can safely talk to about this issue; call your local domestic violence shelter to speak to a counselor. There are many ways to escape abuse but we must FIRST be able to see it as abuse and "SAY NO" to it by getting help.

I have called a domestic shelter and I spoke to a very kind young lady counselor about a sexual abuse issue that I did not pursue as it did not occur a second time with my ex husband. I had also called a suicide hotline for help for myself. I had called a battered women's shelter several times for domestic (emotional) violence and threats of personal harm from an adult child of my ex husband. All of these are the FIRST STEP in healing from abuse.

There is NO shame in calling for help...please treat yourself with the respect you deserve and call out for help today if you are in any of the above situations.
You are NOT alone.

Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars

It may sound like a teenager's whine when actually it can be a cry of a controlled and abused heart of a woman in a domestic abusive marriage.

I was told "who" and "what" I was, defined by another person's words, as well as "what I thought" and "what I was going to do". When looking from the outside into a marriage like this, it would probably be viewed by one counselor when he asked me, "YOU are telling me that THIS is your marriage?".  What an eye opener.  


If you feel that you are currently IN an abusive relationship; I have to tell you that THERE IS HOPE of being free from it. I am PROOF. I was demeaned, discounted, controlled and brain washed into thinking that I "couldn't make it" without him. I felt so hopeless that my life could ever change that I thought I might never "make it on my own".  But somehow, that is EXACTLY what I did. It didn't happen in one day; actually it took YEARS of soul searching, introspection and personal scrutiny and analysis before I began to recognize the abuse for what it was. I had to overcome my denial that "my marriage" could be healed before I could even consider being free from abuse..

Feeling good about "being me".

  
I have written several blog posts on "finding me" and I have learned that finding who we are and accepting that precious person as unique in all the world are two different steps on the process of healing from abuse. While I was "finding me", I realized that I had also lost contact with the things that I valued most. Not all things are really "things", so what I valued were representations of what I wanted in my life. For many reasons, through abuse, we can lose not what we value the most but we lose sight of who we are as well and that is the most tragic loss of all.