Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars

It may sound like a teenager's whine when actually it can be a cry of a controlled and abused heart of a woman in a domestic abusive marriage.

I was told "who" and "what" I was, defined by another person's words, as well as "what I thought" and "what I was going to do". When looking from the outside into a marriage like this, it would probably be viewed by one counselor when he asked me, "YOU are telling me that THIS is your marriage?".  What an eye opener.  


If you feel that you are currently IN an abusive relationship; I have to tell you that THERE IS HOPE of being free from it. I am PROOF. I was demeaned, discounted, controlled and brain washed into thinking that I "couldn't make it" without him. I felt so hopeless that my life could ever change that I thought I might never "make it on my own".  But somehow, that is EXACTLY what I did. It didn't happen in one day; actually it took YEARS of soul searching, introspection and personal scrutiny and analysis before I began to recognize the abuse for what it was. I had to overcome my denial that "my marriage" could be healed before I could even consider being free from abuse..

 

 
When you are married to or in relationship with a personality disordered person; their control and need to manipulate and be "in charge", kills all creativity, freedom, love and warmth that two people can share. The amount of trust that is killed is astounding. The amount of anger that the abused woman has to face, within herself, can be overwhelming. We tend to think of a mentally ill person as we do ourselves; just having a problem when in actuality, their reality is ANYTHING but what reality truly is. We need to recognize the REAL issue for the abuse that it is and it may be a mental need for the personality disordered /mentally ill spouse to control EVERYTHING in their environment, including other people. Next, we need to accept the fact that we DO NOT DESERVE to be abused and then work on ourselves; our self-esteem and challenge ourselves to NOT accept abuse any longer. 

NO ONE should ever tell ANYONE "what to do", it is not only unloving but it is disrespectful and clearly ABUSIVE; it is demeaning, discounting and devaluing our opinions and thoughts which we have the right to own and not have taken from us.

Is THIS your marriage or relationship? I know from personal fact that it does NOT have to be this way.