The process of healing

I would like to share a little of how I have personally "found myself, healed from abuse and learned to dream again". I believe that WE ALL have had abuse in our lives; in some forms. Some have had abuse in much more physical and violent forms, while others may have had more of the mind-bending, soul-crushing, heart-wrenching verbal and emotional abuse, usually brought on by a relationship with a mentally ill or unhealed abused person.




I would like to share a little bit about "FINDING YOURSELF"... it seems to be such a silly concept. HOW can a person LOSE themselves? Yet, that is what many women especially, have stated regarding how they have felt during or after having gone through abuse. We feel that part of ourselves, at least, has been damaged or "lost". How do we RECONNECT again with our damaged selves? Where do we begin and how do we even START this healing journey?  I have found myself in the things that I love...like Rumi said so eloquently "Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do". This has been my life's motto...and I believe that it has brought me "back to myself" and all the wonderful things that make me, ME. 

The second focus is the PROCESS of "HEALING FROM ABUSE"...it seems to take a lifetime to REALIZE that we have been abused, then we must spend much introspection and gain valuable feedback from trusted others as to how it has affected our lives and behavior toward others before we may see how it has damaged us before we can even begin walking on the healing journey. As an introspective woman to begin with, (I had always thought of myself as an extrovert but this is NOT and has NOT been the case, a revelation and epiphany for me about ME!!!), I have always had a very deep and wonderful "inner life"...this is what I encourage YOU and all those who have been abused to seek...SEEK yourself. KNOW yourself...FIND YOURSELF...then love and accept yourself and walk along others on the healing journey. I allowed myself to use anti-depressants when I needed them (limited use but others may find that a more long term administration necessary) and I have been "in (and out) of counseling" for many life stresses and disappointments. I have turned to understanding myself and my life's situation through job change, step-parenting, parental alienation, spouse with addiction and a spouse with mental illness which resulted in much mental and emotional abuse as well as "going through the healing process" while "undergoing counseling"...it actually is no more than being willing to "SEE THE REAL YOU...all warts and all". 

The third major focus is "LEARNING TO DREAM AGAIN". This is so vital to our living. How can we live without having a dream??? I don't know. I do know that when we are being abused, it feels that our dreams are FAR TOO FAR AWAY to think about and comfort us and may even "be gone" as to never have the hope of seeing them come to pass in our lives. This is the epitome of hopelessness and this is exactly what we do NOT want in our lives; it brings with it all the negative aspects of personhood and life and reinforces how we feel rather than HOW WE CAN FEEL and DREAM again. I chose to "dream again" when I was separated from an abusive husband. I longed for my first love and chose to not live my life without reconnecting with him to see if what we HAD was real. I needed to know. I sought and found and regained that once precious and lost love. My dream had come true...and so can yours.

Let us walk along side you; wherever you are on your journey of life and self-discovery. 

YOU really are WORTH IT!!!