Peaceful tidings...

Sometimes our peace comes NOT from getting along with a difficult person,
but learning to get along without them.
~Singing A New Song~

PEACE.

Isn't that all that any abuse survivor really wants in life only to find that like the elusive butterfly always seems to be just slightly outside of our grasp? We run AFTER peace but rarely slow down enough to find that PEACE can only be found within ourselves...this is a hard concept to visualize and accept for an abuse survivor whether we are still with our abuser, have left and have begun our healing journey or are still walking the healing journey after many years of solitude. I know that I expected peace to "come from" the person I love rather than create it myself. I was confused with peace and love. LOVE is given and received, PEACE just "is". 

One thing we MUST remember is that "NO ONE CAN GIVE US PEACE"...once we accept this fact, believe it in our hearts and ACT UPON IT by investing time and taking good care of ourselves, we are no longer chasing it, but it comes to us. 

This holiday season brings hope of peace...but we may not see or feel it. We KNOW that this "should be" a peaceful and loving time; time with family and friends, joyous celebrations with gift giving, bright lights and tasty treats to share with laughter and relaxation...but it may not feel that way for us. We may be struggling to try to "have peace" in an UNPEACEFUL situation...but the good news is WE CAN HAVE PEACE WITHIN US no matter what is happening in our lives outwardly. Abusers will abuse, many of them, possibly mentally ill rather than evil per se, "do not know what they are doing" when they treat us so disrespectfully and they have NO CLUE as to how hard WE ARE TRYING TO STAY WITH THEM in spite of their verbal and emotional abuse. (if you are experiencing physical or extreme mental abuse which may result in physical harm to yourself, please reconsider how hard you TRY to stay with them, you deserve to be treated kindly and be SAFE in your home.) There seems to be very little peace in an abusive home. But we CAN have peace within ourselves and THAT is the good news about this season. It reminds us the PEACE can be found...and no matter what you are dealing with this holiday season, remember one thing...YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

Please take good care of yourself, be patient and compassionate. Set healthy and much needed boundaries and ENJOY THE LIFE that YOU want to live even if you don't see it that way in your household. Play music. Watch your favorite movie. Call a friend or family member. If you are impeded from doing the things that you NEED and LOVE, you are probably being abused. PLEASE take this as a challenge to care for yourself...YOU really are worth it.

I bid you good tiding of GREAT JOY and PEACE...now and for the rest of your life.

Merry Christmas and a VERY Happy New Year 2013.