Taking our power back

"He who controls others 
may be powerful, 
but he who has mastered himself 
is mighter still"

Lao Tzu

The self is a very complex thing. When we see our selves as separate entities, unique in all the World we can become overwhelmed at the myriad of characteristics that can be observed or seen. I think of a cut out paper doll. It is not three dimensional. It is one dimensional, made out of a flimsy paper, cut roughly into a shape of a doll and colored with various crayons, markers or paints. It is a mere representation of what is real. It is not a doll; it is a paper cut out figure of a doll.

In many ways, the person that we see outwardly is only a representation of the self that the outward shell houses. What we see is not always what we should expect to get as it is plain, that the self is intricate, man's being is deeply woven together by fibers of eternity and not mere paper and that personality and expression are solely the outward expression of a greater being hiding beneath the skin. Even if we add all the parts of a person together; wouldn't “the whole (still) be greater than the sum of the parts its made of”?* Holistically, we are very diverse and very indistinguishable from another. 

How does a person even begin to “know oneself”? To understand the many experiences that make up a person's perspective, would take a lifetime or more. Knowing ourselves must certainly precede any control or mastering of the same.

Getting inside the mind of an abuser, a controlling person who only seems to care to control and manipulate others to "believe in him" and "do his will", we can see that there is a "power" of sorts there. I believe that it is the power of the abused, used against themselves. The abuser may exert this power externally because they are do not have the self-knowledge and self-discipline to discipline and  control themselves and this is also the point of healing for the abused. If we KNOW that we ourselves are "master of ourselves" and no one else, we can gain the needed self-respect required to combat the insidious attacks of our self-esteem by the abuser. Taking our power back from those how have discounted, disrespected, demeaned and devalued us with words and actions, is our right. This generally naturally begins our journey of finding ourselves. 

We really do deserve to HAVE, KNOW and LOVE ourselves. Wishing that for you this holiday season. May there be many times that you feel empowered to take the healing journey of "finding yourself, healing from abuse and learning to dream again". 

We are worth it!!!






* from "Love song" from Broadway Musical, Pippin. (see Fun Videos page)