Our changing times

Autumn is really beginning here 

in the Northeast USA 

where the tree tops dance 

with glimmering slight yellow, 

red or orange flames along the 

Blue Ridge Parkway.  

As much as we would like to believe that all change will this pleasing to look at; we have known from experience that change is often HARD and sometimes, absurdly purposeless or at least it appears to be on the surface. 

I love the mountains. Though they seem to be constantly visible, they are constantly in flux or periods of change that is too subtle for the human vision until Autumn arrives. 

I can say that I have healed from years of verbal, emotional, spiritual and sexual abuse. I see relationships and people more clearly, truly and accept the truth of what they are and who they are like I have never been able to discern before. I feel very much at peace with who I am and find that EVERYONE who has been where I have been can BE where I am now...happy and healed.

We have a closed group for women only (sorry guys) called Healing and Hopeful (women preparing for healthy relationship after abuse). Please look for us on Facebook at: 

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/healingandhopeful/

We are changing and growing everyday. We are no longer accused by an abuser to "have changed on them" when we would no longer allow their abuse in our lives. We have always been growing, maturing, "finding ourselves, healing from abuse and learning to dream again".

Will you challenge your perspective on change today? 
Are you seeing your life from the mountaintop 
or are you stuck in the valley?

Isn't it time to take good care of yourself 
and look forward to "singing a new song" in your life? 
I think so.

I have done it and so can you...

Wishing you love and peace today my friend,
D 
Singing a New Song: 
https://www.facebook.com/Newsong4him

and 
Healing and Hopeful (closed group for women) 

Struggling through healing toward passion and creativity

It is called by many names, "dry period", "writer's block", "the blues" or the "doldrums", but anyway you label it, abuse and life's hard lessons have a way of sucking the creative energy out of us. I believe it is then that "need to refresh our passion" for life and whatever in life brings us joy. A "change of scene" or focus or paradigm shift may be the "jump start" that our creativity needs to thrive. Some say that we can "fake it til we make it" but I just have to believe in myself even when I feel lacking in hope and inspiration. I believe that merely acknowledging to ourselves that life has more purposelessness moments than not, is ENOUGH to throw us into the pit of despair and the dry well of mere existence. WE DO NOT need to accept mere existence as our "life"...we CAN hope and HAVE much more!

Our self esteem is so closely tied to our creative expression that any threat or damage due to abuse can totally disable our ability and even desire to express ourselves. We deserve to BE CREATIVE and enjoy life and everything that brings us joy; why have we allowed other's mistreatment and abuse toward us destroy or cripple the wonderful artistic beauty that we hold within us all? We did not consciously "allow" anyone to abuse us but due to many familiar influences and personality and mental processes, we "thought" that the treatment of a spouse, loved one or friend was "normal". We lived with abuse for SO LONG that we do not know what normal is any more. We are either in jeopardy of  losing our life's focus and sense of individuality and purpose or we may have already "lost ourselves".  I have found that one way to "find ourselves" is to search for the creative energy within us and encourage it to thrive IN SPITE of anyone else's opinion. We need to learn to VALIDATE ourselves because those in our lives, whom we have trusted with "ourselves" have failed to provide the validation, safety and nurture that all persons require and deserve.

When "the blues" hit you next time; see it as an OPPORTUNITY to invest in yourself. See it as a "red flag" or warning that there is a "breach in security" and that the wonderful person that you are and all you hold in your heart is in peril! EMBRACE the joy within you and RUN WITH IT...grab a hold of yourself and don't let go. 

One step at a time

Life can become SO overwhelming that we just stop doing what we really enjoy doing and end up "numbing out" either in front of the TV or some other recreation. Progress of healing TAKES TIME and patience. If anyone is WORTH our time and patience, it is ourselves!
At our most desperate moments; we may not be able to envision freedom from all we've experienced... 


but we ARE worth trying!!!