Reflecting beauty, mirroring pain

Autumn inspires me. Whenever I feel a need for a glimpse or "pinch" of inspiration, a beautiful Autumn scene always seems to spark something within me. I remember spending hours upon hours among the fragrant, crackling leaves underneath my foot step. The smell of the leaves and the crispness of the air, invigorates me. 

As I looked at this beautiful scene; a photograph taken by a very talented photographer, obviously, but sadly was not credited with the display, I was overwhelmed with the reflection of the beauty so magically caught in this image. I began to meditate that OUR beauty is also reflected; maybe we are just as unaware of revealing it to the world as these gorgeous leaved trees. Wonderfully, I seem to sense that the reflection enhances the color; not detract from it. 

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.

But you are eternity and your are the mirror.

~ Kahlil Gibran(1883 - 1931) ~

After reveling in the sublime beauty of this image and its dramatic reflection, I turned my focus inwardly. I asked myself, "I wonder if my ugliness is magnified or reflected in my life in the same way that my beauty is shown to the world." The thought horrified me for a moment until I realized that it might only be the ugliness that I was not aware of;  or that I was not willing to face. Maybe the only ugliness that would be so boldly presented to the world would be the PAIN and ugliness that I chose to deny. I can see that whenever I may have chosen to live in delusion as "not having a problem" or refused to face the reality of abuse; that I was really trying to "hide from my pain" and keep it hidden from myself, that maybe it was not hidden from the world.

Gazing back upon the reflection of beauty of this image, although it truly is much more pleasant to gaze upon, maybe we can see the beauty as being reflected as a "reward" of sorts for the hard work of "finding ourselves, healing from abuse and learning to dream again". Then just maybe, we won't ever have to worry about any "hidden pain" and can look forward to seeing ourselves; our true selves, as beautiful as what we were truly meant to be. 

Taking GOOD care of myself

I really enjoy a good cup of tea in a china cup from a china tea pot; warmed in the traditional English style. I love the scent of blossoming lilacs. I love the color purple and the scent of these beautiful flowers. 


I can more easily enjoy the SIMPLE PLEASURES IN life; what we all need to take good care of ourselves. It may take some discipline or better yet a renewed focus ON ONESELF in order to get to the place where we can enjoy the "simple pleasures" again. I am definitely a woman who believes in the Simple Joys of life and I embrace them whenever they are available and even create opportunities to enjoy what I want to enjoy when I want to enjoy it. When we are in an abusive relationship or have contact with an abusive person who demeans, discounts or disrespects us they are very likely to say "You are SO selfish to just think of yourself"...this is an abuser's main way of saying "You are not paying enough attention to ME, you must worship ME and you must allow ME to control and abuse you". 


Today, I would love to invite you to join me in a cup of tea; 

Struggling through healing toward passion and creativity

It is called by many names, "dry period", "writer's block", "the blues" or the "doldrums", but anyway you label it, abuse and life's hard lessons have a way of sucking the creative energy out of us. I believe it is then that "need to refresh our passion" for life and whatever in life brings us joy. A "change of scene" or focus or paradigm shift may be the "jump start" that our creativity needs to thrive. Some say that we can "fake it til we make it" but I just have to believe in myself even when I feel lacking in hope and inspiration. I believe that merely acknowledging to ourselves that life has more purposelessness moments than not, is ENOUGH to throw us into the pit of despair and the dry well of mere existence. WE DO NOT need to accept mere existence as our "life"...we CAN hope and HAVE much more!

Our self esteem is so closely tied to our creative expression that any threat or damage due to abuse can totally disable our ability and even desire to express ourselves. We deserve to BE CREATIVE and enjoy life and everything that brings us joy; why have we allowed other's mistreatment and abuse toward us destroy or cripple the wonderful artistic beauty that we hold within us all? We did not consciously "allow" anyone to abuse us but due to many familiar influences and personality and mental processes, we "thought" that the treatment of a spouse, loved one or friend was "normal". We lived with abuse for SO LONG that we do not know what normal is any more. We are either in jeopardy of  losing our life's focus and sense of individuality and purpose or we may have already "lost ourselves".  I have found that one way to "find ourselves" is to search for the creative energy within us and encourage it to thrive IN SPITE of anyone else's opinion. We need to learn to VALIDATE ourselves because those in our lives, whom we have trusted with "ourselves" have failed to provide the validation, safety and nurture that all persons require and deserve.

When "the blues" hit you next time; see it as an OPPORTUNITY to invest in yourself. See it as a "red flag" or warning that there is a "breach in security" and that the wonderful person that you are and all you hold in your heart is in peril! EMBRACE the joy within you and RUN WITH IT...grab a hold of yourself and don't let go. 

I knew I was "in here somewhere".

 Chipping away until you "find You"

    

When they asked Michelangelo how he made his statue of David he is reported to have said,  

"It is easy. You just chip away the stone that doesn't look like David." ~Michaelangelo

 

We are the Sculptor and David is our life that we are "chipping away" to find and to "draw out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else has looked quite far enough to find". Love by Roy Croft

The process of "finding me" has been very much like the "chipping away"  of the outer, unnecessary, cumbersome pieces of rock and debris of a sculptor's chisel in order to uncover and DISCOVER the "real me" that has been hidden.

At times I had to "chip away" at unhealthy relationships; ones where my boundaries were violated and 

"The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" Eleanor Roosevelt

The end of 2011 is quickly approaching. Isn't it strange, when we stop to look at it,we may be actually looking forward to the end only to start a new beginning? As some have said, we could "wish our lives away" if we are not careful. Do we REALLY have to wait for our future to arrive before we can believe in our dreams? I know through personal experience that we do NOT have to "just hope" anymore.