What are you willing to fight for?

"Them are fightin' words" as the Irish part of me would say with a rich Irish brouge; curling my fists in a "come and try to get me" boxer stance. My "Ire" has been called wilfulness, stubbornness,  and even hard headedness and those are just the complimentary synonyms. Sometimes, and most often in disrespectful and abusive relationships it has been called "contentiousness" and that really means that my attitude, opinion, thought and "right to be me" contends with another's "opinion". To that I say,  "too bad".  Sometimes I have been called derogatory names because of my right to speak out for what I believe in...me mainly. I am sure that you can imagine, have heard and even been the undeserving recipient of such derogatory names. We all  know that name calling  is NOT loving or part of a healthy or happy marriage relationship. It is usually ALWAYS part of a relationship with a personality disordered person.

What are you willing to fight for? As for me, I was ALWAYS willing and ready and probably always defensively engaged in "fighting for my right to be me" all my life. I was labelled "defensive" and rightfully so because my dear Narcissistic father and Codependent mother and  abuse and relationship issues with both my older brother and younger sister made it necessary for me to "watch out for myself". I have been called "stubborn" with a tone of voice that strongly implied that it was a bad thing to know your mind and will and to speak out what you believe. It was even told to me that "You are going to think whatever you want anyway"...Yes, this was said to me, I suppose, it was intended to be an insult. Pardon me for laughing out loud. It seemed more like an affirmation of my individuality than an insult of my "contentiousness".

I am both amused and annoyed 

that you think I should be less stubborn than you are.

Dr. Gregory House. 

I wish that I had been "so stubborn" the moment that I realized that I was abused by a family member or husband. I wish that I had "fought for me" from that very moment instead of "giving myself up" to  another's will.

I want to encourage you to "be you" today and the next time someone looks at you with an attitude and says: "You are so stubborn", just look them straight in the eye and say  

"Thanks, I knew that".