Learning to think for myself...again.

"Believe none of what you hear, 

and half of what you see" 

Benjamin Franklin

 

Mrs. Smith was my somewhat eccentric red-headed fifth grade English teacher who always had an interesting quote to share. She had insight into human development and really seemed to care about "how we learned to think"; not just "what we thought". She would share her opinion how it was abusive to not give a child clean sheets on their bed. In some ways, she taught me to "care for myself" and think about what was really important to me no matter how anyone else treated me. She taught me that I was worthwhile; in her own quirky way. She was respected but a little shunned by other teachers for her eclectic style of "teaching". I really don't remember much of her English teaching but I do remember that she "taught me about life" and for that, Mrs. Smith, I will always be grateful to you.

I have had to think long and hard about this quote for many years. You see, being a christian as I became in 1985 seemed to "teach me" that I was to "believe by faith" and not trust my reason or even try to understand outside of "God's way" of doing it. Mind you, I am not proposing that thinking is NOT part of God's plan for our lives or accepting untruths and lies and abuse IS. What I suggest is that accepting these as "His Way" and  heeding the advice of "well intended believers" is NOT the intention of an Almighty Creator. At the same time, "living by faith"; which can be a very good thing does NOT mean that we trust more in others than we do ourselves.  

I am convinced that God is certainly the MOST misunderstood and misquoted Being in the entire Universe. I think that God would have every right to file charges of UNIVERSAL MISREPRESENTATION of Himself and WIN every case. I have proposed this to say that there is nothing wrong to questioning your faith or your God. If either are too fragile to sustain a question, an investigation even, then maybe they aren't "big enough" to begin with. 

Through my journey of healing from abuse; I have not come to a crisis of faith but a clarity of faith. I have learned and truly believe that it is not only NOT a sin to think for myself; God did give me the ability to have higher consciousness and even to have thoughts of Him but it is my right to learn about myself; learn HOW to think about myself. Learning to think FOR myself was one of the best things that I have done for myself in a LONG time.