What do you have to lose???

Dare to dream...go ahead. 

I have. 

And though my life is very DISSIMILAR to what it had been 

for many years; 

it is MORE like what I had dreamed. 

The only thing that 

I had to lose 

was FEAR of letting go of 

"second best". 

When we ask a question like "What do you have to lose?" I think of the scary taking risks when we feel we must trade the cozy and comfortable things that we enjoy and feel that we need for something that is uncertain and possibly even unattainable. We fear losing something of value without knowing what will replace it; and without even evaluating if it needs to be replaced in my life. We live with hope that is unfulfilled, misplaced or deferred. We live daily wondering IF our lives can EVER be any different from what they are RIGHT NOW. We live on the edge of decision, thinking that there is NO WAY that we could ever take THE step needed to change our lives. We can feel stuck or even doomed to merely existing while only wishing for a life that is better...that is DIFFERENT. We live with discontent with what we have because we feel that it control us with the fear of losing it to gain something possibly much better. We never know until we take that step. 

But this time, I think of the question "What do I HAVE TO lose?" as a challenge to SHED the obstacles, fear and unwillingness to LOOK AT MY LIFE, with all my weaknesses and perceived limitations, to ACCEPT who and where I am in my life and LOOK FORWARD to what I REALLY WANT in my life. Until I take that step, I may not realize that I NEED TO LOSE the FEAR of taking that step before I am ABLE to take it.  I "HAVE TO" lose my doubts about my abilities. I "have to lose" the fear of making a bad decision. Sometimes even a bad decision is better than NO decision. I "have to lose" other's expectations of me that I no longer value or feel a need to accept and fulfill. I NEED to see LIFE for what it truly is and STOP SEEING MYSELF through anyone else's eyes but my own. I need to SEE MYSELF and VALUE myself and my skills and talents and abilities of all kinds and ACCEPT myself for AS I AM this very moment...THEN I can decide if there are any abilities that I am ready and willing to use to OVERCOME THE FEAR of indecision; the FEAR of failure or the FEAR of success in my life. 

As abuse survivors, we have learned to doubt ourselves too much. We have been doubted and defined by other's needs. Own thoughts, values and opinions have been discounted and dis-valued. We have endured damage and have decided that we will NO LONGER BE ABUSED...now it is time to stop abusing ourselves by reliving and replaying the abuse of the past. We are NO LONGER THERE. We are HERE and we are MUCH stronger than we think. We have SURVIVED. We have endured and preserved who we are so that we could rebuild our lives. We have "found ourselves" at times and are on the path of "healing from abuse" with great hopes that we will someday "learn to dream again"...and we CAN do it.

What do we have to LOSE??? We have to lose all the negative self-concepts, the negative and misleading self-image and self-expectations. We have to lose FEAR.

You can do it. You are already on the healing path and are ready to "learn to dream again"...go ahead and DARE TO DREAM...you will be surprised at what you will lose by doing so. Think of "this kind of loss" as a necessary step in GAINING YOUR LIFE back!!!

YOU are worth it!!!