Real life healing from abuse (Hope for the hurting)

Check out: Favorite Links (right)

and Resources for healing

from abuse Page (above)

We see a lot of very helpful information on the web. We can make a new recipe, find directions for our  vacation complete with hotel accommodations and restaurants. We can read the daily local news and see the headlines from all over the world. What has been most helpful to me are the many VERY helpful websites and blogs regarding abuse and how to heal from it.

To vulnerably share that I have lived through abuse: sexual, physical, emotional, verbal and spiritual is something that I would have rather NOT experienced it but I am very thankful for surviving it. My resourceful websites have allowed me to work through my healing at my pace. I appreciate them all.

Like so many others, in ways who might have experience ever greater or longer periods of abuse than I have, I WISHED that I had  "JUST ONE PERSON" who could understand "where I was at" and could validate and support me with their personal success story. 
Just one person who would HEAR me and believe me and what had happened to me and let me cry on their shoulder while they held my hand. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to happen as often as I would like to see it. In the many websites, blogs and "in real life" (IRL for short) support groups and counseling that I have participated in, I have heard many success stories end in divorce, very few that remained married and healed or still in relationship with who they once saw as an abuser and many, many more who, like myself, struggled to find ourselves again amidst depression and denial and feeling very much alone.

I can daily struggle with body memories, triggers or flashbacks, these are not only words by real life experiences that the abused survivor may experience daily. Feelings and conflicting memories that frighten us may cause us to be hesitant, reticent or even rendered incapacitated to take the next necessary step forward in our healing. Healing hurts.

As a "funny" side note, 
where someone would refer to vomiting as "getting sick", I would refer to it as "getting better". It is our body releasing the toxics that were making us ill-feeling in the first place. Abuse and recovery from it is just like that. We have "taken the toxins" into our body but may not realize HOW SICK they made us feel until they "rise to the surface" to be released.

This "secondary abuse" is what makes counselling so hard for many who are really seeking healing from this insidious damage to their minds and spirits. Can you imagine going to the medical doctor; knowing that you are not feeling well but telling him or her that "you do not feel like being seen by them today; emotionally it is just too hard?". In some extreme abuse situations, this may actually occur but for the most part; it most often happens with the abuse victim in "recovery" as they go to yet another counselor to "tell their story again".

Healing in real life is like reopening a wound. It seems to "go against" what seems to make sense for healing but without opening the wound, the scar that forms only covers pain. If you are psychically and emotionally scarred by abuse, please try some good self care and seek professional and spiritual help. Join and "work on yourself" along with a caring cyber community of individuals that can relate to and understand your pain. Most of all, they are walking the healing path along side you. 

You are not alone. REAL LIFE HEALING is available.