How many times have we stood pulling at a closed door, trying to pry it open with all our might only to become angry that it will not reopen and do NOT see that an opened door to a new life is waiting for us? I have found all too often that abuse has attempted to destroy many lives. We look back to see what "we have left" we can feel frustrated, obligated or guilty (FOG; see Out of the FOG.net ).
Sometimes it is not until we can SEE that another door is opening before us are we assured that WE HAVE THE RIGHT to turn our backs on the past abuse and neglect and destruction that has plagued our lives. It is only THEN can we GO THROUGH the open door instead of wasting our energy wrestling with the closed door; as if we can "go back and live the past over" and make it better this time, it just doesn't work that way.
I think it is a good thing to be introspective, to delve into our hearts and help clean out the muck and mire of damage that has been allowed to dwell there and fill it up with good things but there is a time and place for everything.
If we "look to the past" sometimes, we can get STUCK and impede our own progress to "go on with our lives". Getting stuck in the past is much like beating your head against a brick wall or door in this instance. There have been times when the only thing that "kept me looking forward" was the hope that I would "find myself" and "be me" again. It was with hope and confidence that I would project myself into the future rather than get stuck in the past with the failures and disappointments that were behind me. I looked FORWARD instead of backward in order to find my life. I guess, we can only find memories of what had been when we look backward; it is only looking within ourselves, even through much fear and self-doubt, that we have any hope of "finding ourselves" fully.
If we "look to the past" sometimes, we can get STUCK and impede our own progress to "go on with our lives". Getting stuck in the past is much like beating your head against a brick wall or door in this instance. There have been times when the only thing that "kept me looking forward" was the hope that I would "find myself" and "be me" again. It was with hope and confidence that I would project myself into the future rather than get stuck in the past with the failures and disappointments that were behind me. I looked FORWARD instead of backward in order to find my life. I guess, we can only find memories of what had been when we look backward; it is only looking within ourselves, even through much fear and self-doubt, that we have any hope of "finding ourselves" fully.
"Follow our bliss
and the universe will open doors for you
where there were only walls"
Joseph Campbell
What is your bliss? A home in the burbs with your family living in peace, health and happiness? Health of a loved one? NOT FEELING DESPAIR OVER YOUR LIFE and the road that it has taken with the presence (hopefully GONE) or damage from past abuse. Find your bliss. You are worth it.
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