We cannot change anything until we accept it...Carl Jung

The truth hurts. It just plain HURTS. 

We don't want to believe that we are being abused. We don't want to believe that we are unloved and treated with such disrespect. We really do not want to face the truth that a person whom we love could treat us that way.

But we cannot change anything about our situation until we are willing to accept it...for what it is...and stop denying that we are experiencing abuse. 




Life can be hard but it doesn't have to be so hard. We CAN learn to find the "Serenity to accept what I cannot change" when we spend introspective time alone. Solitude and Serenity really do go together. We need time of introspection and acceptance of ourselves in order to accept "the unlovely but true" things about others and our relationships with them...

We can find the "courage to change the things we can" and usually that means that WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES but need to realize that we CANNOT change someone else. No matter how much they say they love us, no matter how much we love them, we cannot "do their growing" for them. They must grow and mature, learn to accept and love themselves and then it would be possible for them to change behaviors toward us. Sadly though, many may not see this opportunity and lose love, our love in the process of denying their abusive behavior.

We can find the "WISDOM" to "know the difference between what we CAN change and what we CANNOT change but just need to "accept". I have learned a concept called "Radical Acceptance". This  Psychology Today article that explains it: (read slowly, it helped me to do that)

"Radical acceptance" is the tolerant embracing of how and who one is here and now,

juxtaposed with acknowledging the necessity for change and growth. 

To support such self-acceptance, (Marsha) Linehan also integrates mindfulness and meditation 

principles into her treatment approach. 

Linehan (1993) makes the following five fundamental points regarding 

"radical acceptance":

1. Acceptance is acknowledgment of what is.
2. Acceptance is non-judgmental, not a matter of deeming something good or okay.
3. Freedom from suffering requires accepting rather than resisting reality.
4. Choosing to tolerate pain or distress in the moment is acceptance.
5. Accepting rather than avoiding painful emotions actually alleviates suffering.

So how can WE APPLY this concept of Radical Acceptance into our 

"Finding me, healing from abuse and learning to dream again" 

Process??? At all stages by...

• Radically accepting ourselves...the good, the bad and the ugly of "us" AND the same of others. 
• Radically accepting that we have been abused, we did not deserve it and we CAN heal from it. 
• Radically accepting that WE CAN LEARN TO DREAM AGAIN...it is NOT too late. Let's not waste any more of our valuable life in being fearful of what we have yet to experience. We have survived abuse!!!

No matter what it takes to work through this process...remember that 

YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!